Tag Archives: show don’t tell

Questions to Critique By

. Writer's Craft . , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

I am handing out a story that I have revised once to my critique group.  Whenever I give them a full manuscript to read I like to attach a suggestion sheet of questions they can ponder while critiquing.  We are a pretty green group and I want to get constructive feedback, not just a pat on the back.  I limit the questions to two to three per category.

These questions are also helpful for when I am self-editing.  I would like to say these are all original questions, but I once heard someone say, ideas are original when you can’t remember where you first heard it.  Many of these questions have been taken from a checklist I found on line here, but I narrowed it down and added some of my own.  So from my bag of tricks, I give you Questions to Critique By.

(FYI – I start by giving my critique group an idea of what I feel is pertinent information about the story like intended audience and what I am trying to achieve in plot and character development.)

Characters:

  • Are their voices consistent with their characters? Do you see places where their voice slip or where it can be amplified?
  • Are the characters rich and developed or flat and stereotypic?
  • Are there too many characters or too much time spent on secondary characters that detracts from the main plot of the story and the focus on the protagonist?

Voice

  • Does the writing style seem fresh, original?
  • Does the mood of the characters influence how they see their world?
  • Does the overall tone and style of the writing work well for the story?

Pacing

  • How does the pacing of the story feel? Does the book drag in spots due to excessive narration or from uninteresting scenes?
  • In faster action scenes, does the pace speed up with shorter sentences and paragraphs?
  • Are the scenes moving at a good clip or do they need some trimming?

Conflict

  • Is there an overarching conflict present in the story that is key to the premise and grows to a climax and resolution?
  • Do the protagonists face one conflict or obstacle after another (each worse than the previous) that force them to have to make tough decisions?

Plot

  • Does the overall plot come across clearly in the novel?
  • Are there scenes in the book that do not serve the plot and don’t seem to have a point?
  • Is the plot interesting and engaging?

Tension

  • Is tension created at the outset of the book?
  • Are the protagonists compelling enough to heighten tension by the reading caring about them?

Fantasy

  • These are creatures developed in my mind, do you have a clear understanding of what they are, what they do, what they look like?   (Keep in mind, I expect this will be an illustrated book, so I am leaving some room for the illustrator to help create my character’s appearance.)
  • What questions would you want answered in this book about these creatures that have not been addressed?

Show and Tell

  • Consider the sensory detail. What parts overload the senses? What parts could use more sensory detail?
  • Is the language vivid?
  • Were there scenes where your mental movie projector had problems seeing the scenes? If so, which ones

Humor

  • Did you have laugh out loud moments? If so, where?
  • Are there segments where the humor could be pushed? Or dialed back?
  • It was intended to be funny (at least some parts). Did it happen?

That’s it.

What questions would you add to the list?

 

Number the Stars

. Books I am glad were written . , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Number-the-StarsNumber the Stars by Lois Lowry is my all-time favorite children’s book ever!  It’s a historical fiction novel intended for an audience of 9-12 year old children.  It’s the story of Annemarie Johansen living in Copenhagen, Denmark during the Nazi occupation of World War II.  Her best friend, Ellen Rosen, is Jewish. When the story starts the Nazis stop merely standing ominously on street corners and prepare to relocate the Danish Jews.  The lives of the two girls are about to change drastically.  One will be forced to go into hiding while the other’s courage will be put to the test.

It is the winner of the 1990 Newbery Medal.  Though it rightfully received this award, it’s true accolades come from how it stands up to its toughest critics, children.  I have taught this book with two fourth grade and five fifth grade classes across a variety of ethnic groups and spanning the socio-economic bridge.  I have read this book with reluctant readers and avid readers.  The most challenging part of reading it was being told they weren’t allowed to read ahead!

Why children like it

The pace is quick.  The beginning of the story grabs hold of you and you don’t want to let go until the very last page.   The events of WWII are so unbelievable that the setting is both intriguing and mortifying.  The real stronghold is how relatable the characters are.  Annemarie and Ellen are very much like the children in the classroom, but are called to do extreme things.  And the themes of the story are the themes of most children’s lives: friendships put to the test, needing to be brave when it would be easier to run away, coming of age and learning the truth of the world around them.  I’ve had so many great conversations with my students because of the events in this book!

Through a writer’s eyes

Every time I have read this book I got something new from it.  And I’ve read it a lot!  (I am not one for rereading books, but this is a clear exception! – remember I’m a reformed reluctant reader).  This is a book that should be studied by every aspiring fiction writer.  It’s a study of doing it all right!  Characterization, plot, sub plot, intrigue, plot twists, symbolism, voice, show-don’t-tell.  What makes this an even more impressive feat is that the setting of this story, WWII, is one of the most written about topics.  What’s equally amazing is that it is all done in 132 pages!

Give Ms. Lowry a visit at http://www.loislowry.com and be sure to enjoy this book that I am glad was written!

Show, Don’t Tell, using Body Language

. Writer's Craft . , , , , , , , , , , ,

Non-verbal communication makes up the majority of how we express ourselves.  So easy in person.  Such a different beast when trying to make a story come to life on two dimensional pages. 

Body language is intended to communicate emotion in the story without TELLING the emotion.  During my reading of my rough draft and in my first rewrite, I find myself relying on some of the same body language over and over.  I am not sure how many times my characters shrug, nod, furrow their brow, and purse their lips.  SOMEBODY HELP ME!

Learning to write is certainly a steep curve!

Where to turn to first? Well, body language is about the body.  So let’s begin by thinking about body parts and what they can do.  Hair: bounces, falls in the eyes.  Eyebrows: lift, squeeze together, arch.  Lips: purse, curl, press, whistle, pucker.  Shoulders: sag, shrug, raise up to the ear.  Hands: clench, fidget, fold, tap.  Feet: stomp, tap, stand on tippy-toe, shuffle.  What about knees? ears? chest? arms? nose? neck? eyes? stomach? toes?

What else? Well, bodies move.  What are some common movements?  (Stories need to keep the action, so how can we keep our characters moving in non-redundant ways?) walk, sit, look, run.  A thesaurus is a good place to start, right?  But what about what movement implies?  A lean in – we are engaged, a step back – we are considering the big picture when making a decision, doodling – we are thinking, a hand to the forehead – we have forgotten something, annoyed with ourselves.

Writers are said to be voracious readers, keen observers, and compulsive writers.  So, alas, I must assign homework because I am surely not the expert on body language.  Ah! Dang! I said homework!

1.  Take your favorite book down from the shelf.  Skim for use of body language.  Record the author’s words and your incites in your journal.

  • “Papa suddenly crossed the room and put his arms around them both. He kissed the top of each head. . .” – nurturing, reassuring, parental, security
  • “The street soldiers were often young, sometimes ill at ease, and Annemarie remembered how the Giraffe had, for a moment let his harsh pose slip and had smiled at Kirsti.” – a pose can slip, someone can momentarily reveal their true self before wearing their mask once again.
  • “Mama put a hand on Papa’s arm.”  – concern, protective
  • “Annemarie relaxed her clenched fingers of her right hand, which still clutched Ellen’s necklace.  She looked down, and saw that she had imprinted the Star of David into her palm.”  Yes!  SO GOOD!  The picture is painted and I can sense how completely petrified Annemarie was and the relief she now feels.  Bonus- GREAT VERBS: clench, clutch, imprint!

2.  Go on a field trip.  Hooray!  Go to your favorite coffee house, mall, or to be really effective, somewhere similar to a scene in your book.  OBSERVE and RECORD body language.  What is it telling you?  If you can hear the dialogue, how does the body language extend the meaning of the words?

3.  Watch TV! (Didn’t you love it when the teacher said you could watch tv for homework, but then the let down, “Watch the State of the Union.”) Here I am telling you to watch “Lie to Me.”  It is a show that specializes on analyzing body language, especially facial.  Or watch a movie.  I am thinking about watching “Pursuit of Happiness” because my MC is always on the go.  Record the body language that stands out to you and what it communicates.

Sorry to have to give homework, but I have to do it too!  Think about how much our writing will improve if we actually do these things!

So Read! Observe! and Write!

Next time: Effective Dialogue

Til then, Enjoy Playing With Words

Bonus: Three websites I found (though there are certainly more out there).