Tag Archives: revision
Before you revise . . . reflect
I hope you have enjoyed the holiday season and are finding yourself settling into writing once more.
You may have completed the NaNoWriMo challenge in November. Hopefully you rewarded yourself with a congratulations-to-me, I have written a rough draft of a future page turner. Perhaps you gave yourself a night out. Or bought something for yourself that you truly do deserve. Perhaps you even read a craft book. Next on my list to read is A Writer’s Story, From Life to Fiction by Marion Dane Bauer. (A recommendation from a member of my critique group.)
I also hope you took a month off after you wrote the rough. A month away from it lets the waters settle and gives you a fresh brain and perspective.
So before you read through it, here is an excellent exercise to do that I have gone back to time and again. This exercise will narrow your vision for your story and provide you with concise verbiage to be used in future query letters.
Time to REFLECT
***Note, I am a believer in work smarter, not harder. So this blog was originally published in April of 2013. It’s a good process and I still use it and love it! Therefore, I have not edited my original reflections of my first book, which are contained below. Tempting, but I’ll leave it be. I think.****
My revision process is certainly NOT mine but a compilation of many who have been there, done that. There’s no point to reinvent the wheel, right?
This brought me to a blog by Holly Lisle titled: One-Pass Manuscript Revision: From First Draft to Last in One Cycle. Ya, I won’t even attempt to revise in one pass, but I will probably turn back to the steps she shares many times. I appreciate her suggestion to start the revision process by discovering what my story is all about.
Her first five tasks are:
- “Write down your theme in 15 words or less.”
This was easier than I thought. You know when you are given a word limit it adds pressure. But I did it, and I think it’s about right.
Obligation to family versus following your own dream. Yep – that’s what I came up with.
- “If you have sub-themes and know what they are, write them down too.”
It turns out I have about six sub-themes that I was able to identify off the top, there are probably more subtle ones that will come to the surface later.
We all have a story – societal positions – feminism (even though my MC is male) – overcoming fears – dealing with the death of a loved one – influence of religion This feels like I’m missing something, but that’s OK.
- “Write down what the book is about in twenty-five words or less.”
Twenty-five words isn’t a lot! About my story that has more than 60,000 of them! (Ya, it’s way too long for my target audience – but it will get there!) This went through a few versions.
Boy aspires for things beyond family tradition, battles fears, fire, and family in pursuit of his own dream. 18 words!
- “Write down a one-line story arc for the book’s main character.”
It turned into the longest run-on sentence in the history of run-on sentences. Well, maybe not. I used to teach fifth grade and I have seen the use of “and” seventeen times in one sentence. Is running-on a bad habit of mine? No, I am one of the most concise writers I know. (ha ha – remember the 60,000 + words I have to chisel!) And I certainly never drift off topic! (Hey, when you have two little children, you are used to having three or four conversations at one time. It just so happens that may brain continues to do this whether I am with my whirlwinds or not!)
Anyway, I procrastinate . . .
MC battles fears, foes, fire, prejudice (couldn’t think of an F words), and family during the Great Chicago Fire and saves a few lives along the way, but ultimately sacrifices his own dreams for the sake of his family.
Then the biggy:
- “Write down the main characters, and a paragraph of no more than about 250 words describing the story, sort of like the blurb on the back of a paperback.”
THIS WAS HARD! All of these previous steps certainly helped, but it was not pretty. Started off with black ink, went to orange, then red. With arrows and line-throughs everywhere! It turned into less than 200 words (oh-ya! 172 actually!) but I don’t think I would want it on the back of my book just yet. And therefore, I am not putting it out here either.
But what did all of this really do? It gave me the narrowed focus I need for my read through. It also brought to my attention plot and character adjustments I want to make. It was well worth the hour and a half it took to do this.
BTW, What do you reflect on to help you steer your manuscript?
And one more thing – credit where credit is due – the link to Holly Lisle in case you would like to see what else she says.
MRUs, they are nothing like MRIs
Motivation-Reaction Units! oooh!
In last week’s post I shared about a strategy about how to analyze your scene/sequel structure. Every chapter contains scene-sequel cycles, my chapters average 2 or 3. But within every scene and every sequel are motivation-reaction units. (This phrase is used by Dwight Swain in his book, Techniques of a Selling Author and is well-summarized in the blog Writing the Perfect Scene. Where I lack creativity, I make up in resourcefulness!)
The nuts and bolts:
Motivation: What your MC sees, hears, feels, tastes, or smells. It is observable and objective.
Reaction: begins internally and may end internally or externally. The MCs reaction should mirror real life. Initially, we react to things emotionally, something we can’t control, and to varying degrees depending on the motivation. Sometimes the emotion is followed by a knee-jerk reaction. Again, something we can’t control. This happens usually in more dramatic or surprising situations. Sometimes we skip the reflexive response and have a thought, or say something, or do something. And there are some situations when all three occur. When that happens, it usually follows: emotional reaction – reflexive reaction – thoughtful reaction.
Common sense, isn’t it?
As you are analyzing your scenes and sequels for their larger structure, you can mark down the side of the page when you are reading a motivation or a reaction. This reveals story parts that are not motivation or reaction, and therefore don’t belong. I have read nearly a full page in which my character is not reacting to anything. A full page of motivation is too much. The reader has identified with the MC and wants him to be engaged, not just an observer. I also noticed, despite Swain’s suggestion that Motivations and Reactions alternate paragraphs, that my writing often had one, sometimes two, MRUs, within one paragraph. (I’m not usually a rule breaker, but I’m okay with this one. Especially since I have looked at other children’s books and noticed that accomplished authors have done that too. Nonetheless, MRUs fill their pages.)
The only place that I ignore the MRU pattern is when I am establishing setting. For the sake of my reader, this needs to be done swiftly and the action needs to get going again. There are certainly more patient readers who like a thorough picture painted for them. Know your reader and their attention span!
An example from the bookcase: Breaking Stalin’s Nose by Eugene Velchin
I’m almost at the first floor when I hear the door open upstairs. It’s my aunt. (motivation – M). I stop and wait for her to catch up. I knew she’d come, (Reaction – R) and she does, arms reaching out and pulling me in. (M) With her face so close, I see she looks like my dad. Though my dad never cries, of course. (R)
“He’s wrong,” I say. “My dad’s not an enemy of the people. You know that, don’t you?” (Still R) She nods and pats my head, or tries to arrange my hair (M) – I don’t know which (R). “I’m sorry, Sasha,” she says “If we take you in, they’ll arrest us, too. We just had a baby. We have to stay alive.” (M) She pushes something into the palm of my hand, folds my fingers over it, and runs upstairs (still M). I know it’s money. I’ll need it. I’m grateful. When I look, it’s not much, but at least in the morning I can take a streetcar to school (R). While alternating paragraphs for motivations and reactions is clearly not followed here, the MRU pattern certainly is. Study some text for yourself. Pick a favorite book off the shelf and see if that author uses MRUs. Well, January is research month for me. So next time I will share some research tips I’ve picked up along the way. Til then, Enjoy playing with words!Revision Process: scenes and sequels
First off, where have I been? I noticed my last post was in October. My apologies. I spent October and November in revision and took December off to focus on my primary job: SAHM (stay at home mom.) But a new year is here with brand new motivations.
Pre-published authors are keenly aware that we are not to submit our work to agents until we get it as good as we can. To perfectionists, that is a cruel task. So we have to learn to let go of ascertaining perfection on our own (if ever), establish a plan, and stick to it!
In brief – the steps that got me this far:
- Write the rough draft like a crazy person. Finish the darn thing and celebrate. Really celebrate.
- Take a month away from it and read a craft book.
- REVISE: see this blog on what you can do in the first revision.
- Rewrite – time to fix all those things you didn’t allow yourself to look back at during the frenzied rough draft.
- Get eyes on it. Yep. Be brave! Do you have a critique group? They are the perfect people to do this. They have willingly sacrificed hours of their time to read your writing and critique it because they know you will do the same for them.
- While your critique group has it start the next revision.
That’s what this post will focus on. My process, in general, is an inverted triangle: start broad and become more narrowed through the revision. Every writer has a process. This works for me, for now.
On the first revision I was focusing on story arc, plot, characterization, what chapters can go – big picture stuff. Now, I am getting more narrowed. I am breaking the chapters into scenes and sequels and I am looking for specific elements. And what I’m doing is not original. I have taken what I have read in craft books, learned at conferences, and researched online to synthesize my process.
This step of my process was largely taken from a blog that was summarizing a book. The blog: Writing the Perfect Scene (beckons all perfectionists!) The book: Techniques of the Selling Writer by Dwight Swain. (Admittedly, I have not read it yet. As a SAHM my writing time is very limited. But perhaps that will be the craft book I read after my next rough draft.) Refer to either or both of these for expanded information. I will hit the highlights.
Tools: 3 different colored highlighters, a fourth marker of a different color, a red pen, green pen, tablet with Index Card app (By the way, this is a revised method. My first was even more involved and I quickly realized I was working harder not smarter.)
Each chapter is compiled of scenes and sequels.
In a scene there is:
- a goal: the MC (main character) goal for just this little moment in time, which ultimately is somehow tied to the big goal/story arc – when I identify the goal I highlight it in blue.
- CONFLICT! – internal or external, obstacles stumbling blocks the MC is dealing with in the scene. (I uses yellow highlighter – like warning road signs)
- DISASTER!!!! – the thing that keeps the MC from reaching the goal (I like a pink highlighter for his one, it’s close to red. – I know, I am a very deep thinker!)
After the disaster the sequel begins:
- Reaction: an emotional response that follows the disaster, will probably include dialogue or internal thoughts. (back to blue highlighter)
- Dilemma: the MC is in a situation with no perfect solution that will allow him to reach his initial goal. The MC sorts out his options. (yep, yellow highlighter!)
- Decision: MC has weighed his options and chooses a path, therefore a new goal. (red again. though sometimes it is also blue for my next scene.)
Most of my chapters have between two or three scene/sequel cycles. Some had just one, the most was probably four. Keep in mind. my chapters run about 9 or 10 pages. So what I’m calling scenes may be what someone else calls a beat. I’m not going to get hung up on vocabulary. The important thing is that I am analyzing my text for the good stuff it needs to have. My book is also an action story, fast paced. Stories that are slower paced or focus more on building suspense or scene setting may have longer chapters or fewer scene/sequel cycles. With my target reader in mind, I need to keep the pace up!
The purposes for the other tools:
- Purple marker: noted flashbacks, internal monologue, and transitions (all of which were used SPARINGLY!)
- red pen, to do what red pens always do!
- green pen – to record MRUs – ooooh what’s that? I’ll get into that in my next blog.
- Index Card app: After I completed each chapter I recorded for each scene: the number of the scene, the chapter it belongs to, the act it was from, the headline, the goal, conflict, disaster, the number of words and MRUs (oh! there it is again!) and humor. And for each sequel I did the same thing, but recording the reaction, dilemma, and decision instead.
What good did it do?
I quickly realized when I was missing key components. Sometimes an entire sequel was missing. I have at least 5 scenes or sequels that need to be written – and one entire chapter. And the opposite is true too. I am able to see what isn’t a scene or sequel that is moving the story forward and can be discarded. Repetition, lack of scene setting, drifting from the plot, wordiness – it all stands out more. I noticed my habit is to often skip past a reaction by the MC to the disaster. And I’m sure there is more too. Thankfully, it’s all recorded on my index cards!
Next time – MRUs. They are nothing like MRIs!
Til then,
Happy Writing!
By the way, what it one thing you always include on your index card when you are analyzing your story?
Show, Don’t Tell, using Body Language
Non-verbal communication makes up the majority of how we express ourselves. So easy in person. Such a different beast when trying to make a story come to life on two dimensional pages.
Body language is intended to communicate emotion in the story without TELLING the emotion. During my reading of my rough draft and in my first rewrite, I find myself relying on some of the same body language over and over. I am not sure how many times my characters shrug, nod, furrow their brow, and purse their lips. SOMEBODY HELP ME!
courtesy: http://body-language.50webs.com/
Learning to write is certainly a steep curve!
Where to turn to first? Well, body language is about the body. So let’s begin by thinking about body parts and what they can do. Hair: bounces, falls in the eyes. Eyebrows: lift, squeeze together, arch. Lips: purse, curl, press, whistle, pucker. Shoulders: sag, shrug, raise up to the ear. Hands: clench, fidget, fold, tap. Feet: stomp, tap, stand on tippy-toe, shuffle. What about knees? ears? chest? arms? nose? neck? eyes? stomach? toes?
What else? Well, bodies move. What are some common movements? (Stories need to keep the action, so how can we keep our characters moving in non-redundant ways?) walk, sit, look, run. A thesaurus is a good place to start, right? But what about what movement implies? A lean in – we are engaged, a step back – we are considering the big picture when making a decision, doodling – we are thinking, a hand to the forehead – we have forgotten something, annoyed with ourselves.
Writers are said to be voracious readers, keen observers, and compulsive writers. So, alas, I must assign homework because I am surely not the expert on body language. Ah! Dang! I said homework!
1. Take your favorite book down from the shelf. Skim for use of body language. Record the author’s words and your incites in your journal.
- “Papa suddenly crossed the room and put his arms around them both. He kissed the top of each head. . .” – nurturing, reassuring, parental, security
- “The street soldiers were often young, sometimes ill at ease, and Annemarie remembered how the Giraffe had, for a moment let his harsh pose slip and had smiled at Kirsti.” – a pose can slip, someone can momentarily reveal their true self before wearing their mask once again.
- “Mama put a hand on Papa’s arm.” – concern, protective
- “Annemarie relaxed her clenched fingers of her right hand, which still clutched Ellen’s necklace. She looked down, and saw that she had imprinted the Star of David into her palm.” Yes! SO GOOD! The picture is painted and I can sense how completely petrified Annemarie was and the relief she now feels. Bonus- GREAT VERBS: clench, clutch, imprint!
2. Go on a field trip. Hooray! Go to your favorite coffee house, mall, or to be really effective, somewhere similar to a scene in your book. OBSERVE and RECORD body language. What is it telling you? If you can hear the dialogue, how does the body language extend the meaning of the words?
3. Watch TV! (Didn’t you love it when the teacher said you could watch tv for homework, but then the let down, “Watch the State of the Union.”) Here I am telling you to watch “Lie to Me.” It is a show that specializes on analyzing body language, especially facial. Or watch a movie. I am thinking about watching “Pursuit of Happiness” because my MC is always on the go. Record the body language that stands out to you and what it communicates.
Sorry to have to give homework, but I have to do it too! Think about how much our writing will improve if we actually do these things!
So Read! Observe! and Write!
Next time: Effective Dialogue
Til then, Enjoy Playing With Words
Bonus: Three websites I found (though there are certainly more out there).
- A fellow blogger posted a body language chart.
- How to Read Body Language
- Eight Body Language Traps
Tackling Character’s Voice in 3 Ways
Who am I?
courtesy uskidsmags.com
Which is easier: creating life or performing total reconstructive surgery where no vital organ or system is left untouched?
The nice thing about writing the rough draft was the liberty to write garbage just to move the story forward and find the end. Now it’s time for surgery. We’ll be hanging out in Revision Step Three: First Rewrite for a little bit.
During my reread, one of the things that stood out to me was the feeling that the main characters did not have a strong enough voice that easily identified them. I don’t want my reader to rely on dialogue tags to know who is speaking. The three characters I most need to focus on are my main character, the antagonist, and my main character’s sidekick. These guys get the most words on the page, so they better count.
There are three things I am doing to help me craft their separate voices.
1. Write a scene that occurs outside of the story. Stories generally start on the day when life changes for the MC. To help learn the character’s voice I have written scenes that occurred prior to or outside of the story, when life was normal, an everyday kind of conflict, an everyday kind of event. No high drama, just take a look at your character before their world gets turned upside down. I wrote a scene for my sidekick eating breakfast with her family the morning of the Great Fire. It was lovely and funny, and I hate that there is no purpose for it in the story, but it’s nice having this special scene just for me. It made me more familiar with the sidekick by helping me see her in her natural environment.
2. Change the point of view. My story is being written from the third person, omniscient to the MC, but not all characters. For a while my MC was not turning out the way I wanted him to be and, honestly, I didn’t really like him. I rewrote the opening scene in the first person and I really got inside his head. This naturally changed other parts of the opening scene, but I think it was all for the better. I am keeping the story in third person, but stepping out and writing “diary entries” brings me tighter to my character without so much of the author’s filter getting in the way.
My Favorite:
3. Determine your character’s personality type. There is a lot of research that goes into writing. One of the golden nuggets I happened upon was The Myers Briggs Test. Four short questions later and I found out which of sixteen different personalities my MC fell into. Then I found High Level Description of the Sixteen Personality Types. What do I like about this?
- It’s fun – who doesn’t like to take multiple choice personality tests?
- It validated my perception of my MC, antagonist, and sidekick when I started reading their descriptions.
- It gave me ideas to consider to make their personalities deeper. None of them are the same personality type as I am. (Of course I took it too. How could I resist?) Therefore, I don’t think exactly as they would. For example, my MC is an ISTJ (Introverted Sensing with Extraverted Thinking), which the High Level people termed “The Duty Fulfiller.” In the research I read, “The ISTJ’s word is as good as gold, and they honor their commitments faithfully.” Well, I have a scene where my MC goes back on his word. Even though this needs to happen for the sake of my book’s pacing, the MC has to be really conflicted about it. AND the sidekick has to show the MC the value in the changed plan or else there is no way an ISTJ would go for it. A couple lines of dialogue and the text will be richer and the MC will be deeper.
OK – two bonus ideas
4. Raise the conflict. Every conflict the character is in reveals more about him. Keep making life harder for him and you will find out who he is.
5. Skip the dialogue. Once I start writing dialogue a scene can get away from me, a bit like chasing rabbits. Write a scene (with conflict of course!) but very limited dialogue. Stay close to the character’s thoughts, body language, reactions. You are most likely making this kid up, the more you know about him, the more you can reveal, the better the reader can identify with him.
What tricks do you use for developing your character’s voice?
I know you are going to take the personality test. I’ll tell you mine, if you tell me yours 🙂
Next time: Show don’t tell, using body language (I don’t know how many times my characters shrug and nod. Somebody help me!)
Til then,
Enjoy Playing with Words!
BTW – I am attending the Wild Wild Midwest Conference with SCBWI this weekend. Of course they have the no blogging policy, but who knows what ideas will spin from it!
Revision Step Two: Read through Rough Draft
Relatively painless. But I know its the calm before the storm.
What I did:
1. Treated it like a book. I sat somewhere comfy, usually on my couch after my whirlwinds were in bed. Sometimes with a glass of wine. But unlike reading for leisure, I had highlighter, red pen, post-it tags, and notepad ready to go. Oh and a very critical attitude!
2. Made a list of notes/symbols I would use. My goal is not to do major notes or writing scenes at this point. I want to get through this bad boy in a few sittings. The tags I used:
- <—> reorder
- zzzzz dragging
- ( ) confusing
- ?? cut/change
- highlight – awkward/take another look at
- + add details
- – make concise
- BL add body language
- VIS visualize/add sensory details
- 🙂 keep
3. Get reading. The goal of this read through is big picture kind of stuff. There is no point to line edit now, it would actually be a big waste of time. I need to be merciless nonetheless. I am not married to these words. These characters work for me! (Ever get evaluated on the job? Nothing like having a surprise observation by the principal when you’re having an off day!)
These characters and scenes have a job to do and if they’re not making life more complicated for my MC (main character), contributing to or setting up conflict, and making me want to turn the page, then I need to go back to them and consider their value – do they get the pink slip or remediation? Yes, there are characters and scenes that are absolutely delightful. The picture was painted vividly and the characters sounded really real. But if they’re not doing their job, I have to be tough. And I will keep these scenes in a deleted scenes folder for me to go back to and enjoy the beauty of my thoughts some other time.
Through the course of the read through it became very clear the parts I enjoyed writing and the parts I forced myself to get through!
4. After reading I took some time for an essential part – more reflection. It’s a best practice in education for a reason. People need time to process and absorb what they’ve learned. This is true for revising as well. I am learning things about my writing while I’m reading it. I need to grant myself time to reflect on my writing and not just jump right into the rewrite. My rewrite will hopefully be more thoughtful and accomplish more if I take time to formally think about it.
Reflection questions after the first read through:
- What glaring issues stand out?
- Are there any scenes that can be cut? What needs to be done in order to cut them?
- How’s the MC? Do I like him? Do I cheer for him? Is he relatable? What changes need to take place to make him more attractive as a MC?
- Is my antagonist believable? Do I really dislike him? What more needs to be done to make him more undesirable?
- What are the really weak scenes that need a lot of attention to be saved? What do they need?
- What research still needs to be done?
- Is the climax/resolution all it should be? Did I feel tension? Does it wrap up the ongoing conflict from the story? Is my end in my beginning?
I am sure there is more I should be thinking about at this point, but what it is I haven’t figured out yet. If you have any reflection questions you think should be added to the list, leave a comment.
One more thing, I found this blog by James Scott Bell on revision. One of his suggestions: Consider what a critic would objectively say after reading your manuscript, write it in a short essay.
I would say: The bones of the story are good, but there’s a lot of flab!
Next time I will tackle one of my glaring issues: voice! making sure each character is identifiable without seeing the dialogue tag!
til then – Enjoy Playing with Words!
Time to Revise! Step one: Reflect
Rainy days are designed for reading. So today is a great day to get to reading my manuscript! I took the recommended few weeks away from it and am ready to tackle it once again.
Where to start? There are a lot of ideas out there. So my revision process is certainly NOT mine but a compilation of many who have been there, done that. There is no point to reinvent the wheel, right?
During my break from writing I took the time to read Writing Fiction: A Guide to Narrative Craft by Janet Burroway and I gathered a lot of ideas to pay attention to during the revision process that will certainly surface during future blogs. But before I crack the spine of the “Working Manuscript” binder, I needed to reflect on my book and focus on its big picture. When I started writing it, I did not do a lot of pre-writing (besides researching the history side of it). So now that the rough is finished I need to narrow the lens and get a tighter focus.
This brought me to a blog by Holly Lisle titled: One-Pass Manuscript Revision: From First Draft to Last in One Cycle. Ya, I won’t even attempt to revise in one pass, but I will probably turn back to the steps she shares many times. I appreciate her suggestion to start the revision process by discovering what my story is all about.
Her first five tasks are:
- “Write down your theme in 15 words or less.”
This was easier than I thought. You know when you are given a word limit it adds pressure. But I did it, and I think it is about right.
Obligation to family versus following your own dream. Yep – that’s what I came up with.
- “If you have sub-themes and know what they are, write them down too.”
It turns out I have about six sub-themes that I was able to identify off the top, there are probably more subtle ones that will come to the surface later.
We all have a story – societal positions – feminism (even though my MC is male) – overcoming fears – dealing with the death of a loved one – influence of religion This feels like I’m missing something, but that’s OK.
- “Write down what the book is about in twenty-five words or less.”
Twenty-five words is not a lot! About my story that has more than 60,000 of them! (Ya, it’s way too long for my target audience – but it will get there!) This went through a few versions.
Boy aspires for things beyond family tradition, battles fears, fire, and family in pursuit of his own dream. 18 words!
- “Write down a one-line story arc for the book’s main character.”
It turned into the longest run-on sentence in the history of run-on sentences. Well, maybe not. I used to teach fifth grade and I have seen the use of “and” seventeen times in one sentence. But, is running-on a bad habit of mine? No, I am one of the most concise writers I know. (ha ha – remember the 60,000 + words I have to chisel!) And I certainly never drift off topic! (Hey, when you have two little children, you are used to having three or four conversations at one time. It just so happens that may brain continues to do this whether I am with my whirlwinds or not!)
Anyway, I procrastinate . . .
MC battles fears, foes, fire, prejudice (couldn’t think of an F words), and family during the Great Chicago Fire and saves a few lives along the way, but ultimately sacrifices his own dreams for the sake of his family.
Then the biggy:
- “Write down the main characters, and a paragraph of no more than about 250 words describing the story, sort of like the blurb on the back of a paperback.”
THIS WAS HARD! All of these previous steps certainly helped, but it was not pretty. Started off with black ink, went to orange, then red. With arrows and line-throughs everywhere! It turned into less than 200 words (oh-ya! 172 actually!) but I don’t think I would want it on the back of my book just yet. And therefore, I am not putting it out here either.
But what did all of this really do? It gave me the narrowed focus I need for my read through. It also brought to my attention plot and character adjustments I want to make. It was well worth the hour and a half it took to do this.
Next week I will discuss what I do during my read through of my rough draft, the second step of my revision process.
Til then, enjoy playing with words!
BTW, What do you reflect on to help you steer your manuscript?
And one more thing – credit where credit is due – the link to Holly Lisle in case you would like to see what else she says.
Susan Santiago 